6 Tools For The Chronically Ill To Making Sensible Resolutions

By: Lisa Copen

Did you recently make resolutions for the New Year?

- I'm really going to start an exercise program - I'm going to lose those extra pounds - No more bad habits! - I won't be so sensitive - I'll save more money

Most of us have at least reflected on a list of aspirations to accomplish but then March 23rd rolls around and we feel like a failure. Some of the goals we haven't done a single thing about but feel guilty.

The concept of setting resolutions is worthy and helpful for most people. When you are chronically ill, however, resolutions can be wearisome and even scary. Most of the time our bodies and our health, therefore our lives, are out of our control. The effects of chronic pain can be devastating I you dwell on it. Though losing five pounds a month seems reasonable, a prescription of medication can quickly add on the pounds, despite our best dieting efforts. Even small goals seem hopeless.

The best explanations for not meeting our resolutions are quite reasonable.

--> I'm going to exercise more . . . And then the town closes down the only indoor pool for winter construction

--> I'm going to get rid of those extra pounds . . . It seems every chronic pain medication I get has a list of side effects that say, "May cause weight gain." May? They all do!

--> I'm going to start making wiser choices about money . . . Money? What money? I'm barely surviving on what I have!

So how do we move forward when everything seems stacked against us?

First, if January passed you by and you didn't make any resolutions, congratulate yourself! You've not broken any universal rule that say all new habits must begin January 2nd. January is a time for recovery: recovery from holidays, visiting relatives, travel, and maybe all those medical visits you packed into December before your health insurance deductibles start over in the New Year. If you've been able to get through the whole month of January without an infection, cold, or the flu, count your blessings. And in most parts of the USA, freezing conditions make us often just go into hibernation.

Secondly, make some changes without labeling anything a "resolution." When you go to grab snacks at the store, get items with high fiber, soy, sugar-free, organic, or even those that have immune boosts. Check with a dietician about what some healthy choices would be, taking your illness into consideration. Little changes will eventually add up, and you can have the pleasure of knowing you are working towards your objective.

Thirdly, write down what kinds of things you value. Instead of vowing, "I'm going to spend less money," think about what you really treasure. For example, would you like to go on a missions trip, using your own experience to help others with disabilities? (If so, call Joni and Friends International Disability Center; they often have people with illness go on these trips too.) Rather than listing "get some chronic pain management skills" as a goal, ask around for chronic pain management support groups, counselors, life coaches that specialize in chronic pain, and local hospitals that offer free workshops. You don't have to spend thousands of dollars on spa treatments to get some chronic pain treatment. Stick your list on your refrigerator or on your bathroom mirror to be a daily reminder of what you are specifically saving money for.

Fourthly, partner up with someone else who has a chronic illness where you can share your goals and how your illness impacts them. Illness adds a great deal of stress to our lives all the time. Any changes are intensified because our disease is so uncontrollable. It's not helpful to have your healthy best-friend say, "Let's just walk a half a mile today! A little pain means it is working those muscles!" A friend who can say, "I totally understand how hard it is when you've lost five pounds and then steroids put it back on in three days," is a gift. You will be able to keep perspective on the situation. Chronic pain patients who join support groups often report a better quality of life.

Fifthly, go easy on yourself! When you make a choice that is not the healthiest option don't beat yourself up over it. It's not a failure, but rather a momentary lapse in your drive to reach your goals. Try to make the right choices at least fifty percent of the time and then build on your success. Skipping the drive-thru fast food restaurant where you used to order the milkshake is a step in the right direction.

Lastly, have a fun goal! We easily forget that resolutions don't all have to be things to do to "fix" us! Decide that once per month you will go see a movie--even all by yourself. Or that you will put lunch with a friend on the calendar for the second Tuesday every month. Remember to reward yourself. When you clean out those dresser drawers, go buy some new pajamas and big fluffy slippers.

If you have supportive friends and down-to-earth expectations, by the end of the year you will find that you are one of the few people who actually met some of those "resolutions." And everyone has some of their goals that are left for next year's calendar! So celebrate the fact that you have found some joy along the journey of reaching towards some new habits, despite living with illness.

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Get a free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from "Beyond Casseroles" by Lisa Copen, just signup for to HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa founded of Invisible Illness Week

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