8 Secrets Why You Shouldn't Be Attending an Illness Support Group

By: Lisa Copen

Upon the diagnosis of an illness everyone, including your doctor, likely tells you to go to a support group. Research has shown that support groups can be extremely helpful in how one copes with disease. And yet, not everyone finds a group to be the answer to the kind of support for which they are searching. Like any kind of group, there are some support groups you will "click" with and others you will not. So don't rule out all support groups just because one doesn't seem like a good fit.

But the question still arises. Regardless of whether you are looking for a colon cancer support group or a endometriosis support group, the real question may be, do you really need a support group at this time in your life? Many changes occur while we live decades with illness and there are seasons in our life when an illness support group may hold our very best of friends, and other times when we have no need to attend whatsoever.

Below are eight signs that a support group may be something you do not need right now:

1. You are managing your illness on a daily basis without any trouble. In fact, you are so busy with other things going on in your life, you don't really have time to analyze just how well you are coping with illness.

2. You are surrounded by a group of people like friends or family members who are a good influence on you. They understand that you are making a choice to live the best you can despite your daily pain and they can appreciate that.

3. You don't feel anger, bitterness or resentment toward people who are physically healthy. You are able to have relationships without comparing your abilities (or lack of) to others.

4. You easily carry on conversations with people without ever bringing up the topic of your illness. You don't believe that your illness is such a fundamental part of who you are that it's necessary to describe your medical challenges to total strangers.

5. You don't watch others with envy. You feel you have overcome any annoyances you may have previously felt toward people who have their health, but who do not seem to be appreciating it.

6. You have discovered that sitting around at a support group and talking about your illness is more emotionally draining than helpful. You are in a place emotionally where you don't find the need to talk about your illness that often.

7. You feel confident in how you are able to be a good advocate for your health and illness. When more information about symptoms or tips about living with your illness are needed, you believe you are well prepared to do the research.

8. You have found at least one dear friend who lives with illness. Being able to talk openly with a good friend who has a realistic idea of what you are coping with can be extremely helpful in your daily living skills. You have the chance to vent or contribute ideas with another person who understands the details and "language" of illness.

If you connected with some of the examples above, it's likely that you don't really need a support group at this point in your life. But surprise! You could be an exceptional facilitator of an illness support group. All of the signs above make a simple outline for your proposal for starting up a support group.

The most successful support groups are those led by people who have overcome the daily aggravations and animosities that occur during the first years of being diagnosed with a chronic illness. Since you have coped with the initial rollercoaster of emotions and have survived, a support group of people still struggling with them would benefit from your experience and expertise.

If you feel leading a support group is not your calling then go enjoy other things you are passionate about. Remember, there are friends in wonderful support groups who will be there when you need them.

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Get a free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from "Beyond Casseroles" by Lisa Copen when you signup for HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness

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