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Communication—The Last Frontier in Interviewing

With all the television and radio talk shows, one might think that we are a nation of listeners. We certainly "hear" a lot of talk, but this is not the same as listening. It seems that human nature is against our own best interests; we can hardly stop ourselves from planning our next comment when we hear another person speak. We seemingly cannot miss a beat in promoting ourselves...

How many times have you had either a terrific day or a totally miserable one, with one event triggering another? You run across a friend or you come home to your family looking to regale them with your tale. You get midway into your discourse only to have them say "Oh, the same thing happened to . . . ." Now, instead of your talking about what happened to you, you are hearing about what happened to someone else. Others may be so eager to show empathy by illustrating that they know exactly how you feel that you never get a chance to tell them how you feel. They are not listening to you.

This same thing can occur in an interview. The interviewer starts telling an anecdote, and you rush in, interrupting, and start telling a story that shows that you know exactly what he or she was talking about. Or do you? You never gave the interviewer a chance to finish. You were so eager to show your empathy or experience that you did not allow yourself to listen. Listening is hard. It forces you to turn your attention to someone other than yourself.

In an interview where your concentration is on your skills, your need for a job, and your need to do well in the interview, turning 100 percent of your attention to someone else's words (and not planning what you will say next while you only half-listen) is a skill that must be practiced. When was the last time someone really listened to you? Did he or she look you in the eye and give you total attention? How did it make you feel? If this has not happened recently, then remember one time when you were frustrated because it was painfully obvious that you were not being listened to? How did you know you did not have the other person's attention?

Active Listening Skills

Maintain eye contact: Break away for thoughtful consideration of questions and responses when necessary.

Repeat the question (use sparingly): Show your understanding and give yourself a moment to form a response. "If

you mean have I had extensive experience with________ equipment, I

used it exclusively for___ years at ABC Inc."

Gestures: Hands should be relaxed or used to express excitement. Control any nervous habits.

Tone of voice : Modulate yours to mirror the interviewer's.

Tempo : Speech patterns should complement the interviewer's.

Body language : Lean in to listen, maintaining erect posture. Don't cross your arms over your chest, don't lean on the desk or grip the chair arms. Always be mindful of all other nonverbal messages.