How to Deal with Your Child Being Kicked Out of School

By: Dr. Noel Swanson

The British newspapers and media have spotlighted the topic of misbehaving children in school recently. The topic of discussion usually ends with the answer that entails kicking troublemakers out of the classroom setting.

This time, however, the latest spin on this is to make the parents stay at home to look after them, once they have been thrown out of school.

This doesn't make any sense and is a nuisance to parents. The discussion also describes letting special schools stay open or even building new special schools for these children.

After all, if the child is not getting on well in mainstream (which, since they have just been excluded, is clearly the case), then surely the answer has to be to find a type of educational environment in which the DO get on well?

This leads you to wonder what you can do as a parent if your child has been sent home from school for misbehaving. I have thought about this in detail after dealing with the very same issues with my oldest child.

1. You are not a bad parent because of this. Don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself. Maybe your parenting skills could use some improvement, but that is the true for just about everyone. Try to be a better parent by actively searching for information through books and materials on raising kids.

2. The school has not failed to support your child. Your school does care about your child and maybe the mishandled education of your child is due to issues beyond their control like not having enough resources or poor teacher training.

3. Ask for help from the local education authority (LEA). They should be able to supply an alternative learning setting for your child. You need to be persistent when you contact them, but avoid being mean. You can ask your politicians and newspapers to help you get the engine humming if you need to.

4. DO be prepared to consider alternative placements, such as special schools or even residential placements. Better to deal with it now, than to have your child growing up with the bad behaviors!

5. Seek out help to see if your child may have a learning disability, ADHD or Asperger's syndrome. These can cause disruptions in the classroom. There is an enviroment in which children who suffer from these conditions can thrive. It is a matter of finding that environment.

6. Don't be tempted to look beyond your child's behavior or kid yourself into thinking that they are a model student. You may feel like defending your child and think that everyone is wrong about his behavior. It is more productive to acknowledge that there could be a problem and work it out with help from the LEA.

Well, that's just a few quick thoughts about it.

Hope that is of some help to you, if you are struggling with this at home. And, if you are an educator, please don't be one of the ones that keeps trotting out that nonsense about excluding children as being the solution! It helps no one, and solves no problems.

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Dr. Noel Swanson runs a very interesting website on parenting", so if you could do with some tips for dealing with your children it might be worth a visit.
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