Why did your relatonship come apart ?

By: grumpyjack sa

Falling out of a relationship can be devastating. In many relationships the intensity of emotions never faded, and when things go wrong, these are all channeled into anger, frustration, and despair. The more intense the relationship, the worse the effects it will have on you. The emotions you feel, however negative they may seem, is a testimony to the intensity of your feelings for the other person.

The most common cause for relationships coming apart, from high school right up to the divorce court, is a lack of communication. Many people, especially men, are taught never to show their emotions while they are growing up. The same goes for people who grew up in a house where the parents did not communicate with their children, or were abusive. These people tend to "lock themselves in" at the first sign of conflict. To make matters worse, most men associate conflict with potential violence, and then they "stonewall". This has been a source of frustration for many a woman who wanted a full-on argument. Unbeknown to them, this "conditioning" of the male species, in most cases provide a mechanism to prevent anger from escalating into violence.

The single most common mistake being made by those in relationships, is not saying what they mean. Many people, trying to be diplomatic, or trying not to come across as selfish, will forward a false request or complaint, which is then taken the wrong way, and there the conversation goes spinning off into an argument. Many huge arguments regularly develop because of objections raised that have nothing in common with what the real issue is.

Problems that are covered up by other problems, don't just go away. They end upot being talked about, not being addressed, and not being solved. Eventually these "little things" add up, and a relationship comes apart because of what seems to be "one little thing".

Has your relationship been the victim of poor communication ? It may be easier to save than you think.

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